Pulp Fiction - "लुगदी गल्प"

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(पल्प फिक्शन 1994 की एक अपराध पर आधारित फिल्म है, जिसका  लेखन और निर्देशन 'गूगल अनुवादक'  ने किया,फिल्म को इसके शानदार और उदार संवाद के लिए, हास्य और हिंसा के विडंबना पूर्ण मिश्रण के लिए, अरैखिक कहानी के लिए, और सिनेमाई संकेत और पॉप संस्कृति के सन्दर्भ में जाना जाता है

एक बहुत अधिक सुरुचि पूर्ण तरीके से निर्देशित की गयी, पल्प फिक्शन , लॉस एंजिल्स के मोब्सटर्स, वैतनिक खिलाडियों, छोटी अवधि के अपराधियों, और एक रहस्य का मिश्रण है.
बातचीत और मोनोलॉग के लिए पर्याप्त स्क्रीन समय दिया गया है, जो पात्र के जीवन के प्रति दृष्टिकोण और हास्य की भावना को प्रकट करता है.)
Scene 1 - 
जूल्स: मेरा नाम पिट. और अपने गधे 'बात कर इस गंदगी के बाहर का रास्ता नहीं है.
ब्रेट: नहीं, नहीं, मैं बस तुम्हें जानना चाहता हूँ ... मैं बस तुम्हें पता करने के लिए खेद है कि हम कर रहे हैं कि बातें तो हमें और श्री वालेस के साथ हो गया गड़बड़ करना चाहते हैं. हम सबसे अच्छा इरादों के साथ इस बात में है और मैं कभी नहीं ...
जूल्स: [जूल्स सोफे पर आदमी को गोली मारता है] मैं माफी चाहता हूँ, क्या मैं आपकी एकाग्रता टूट? मैं ऐसा नहीं चाहता था. कृपया, जारी रखने के लिए, आप सबसे अच्छा इरादों के बारे में कुछ कह रहे थे. क्या बात है? ओह, आप समाप्त हो गया! खैर, मुझे मुंहतोड़ जवाब देना करने के लिए अनुमति देते हैं. मार्सेलस वालेस की तरह दिखती है?





ब्रेट: क्या?
जूल्स: क्या आप देश से कर रहे हैं?
ब्रेट: क्या? क्या? - ?
जूल्स: "" मैं कभी सुना है कोई देश नहीं है. क्या वे में अंग्रेजी बोलते हैं?
ब्रेट: क्या?
जूल्स: अंग्रेजी, कमीने, आप यह बात नहीं करते?
ब्रेट: हाँ! हाँ!
जूल्स: तो फिर तुम जानते हो कि मैं क्या कह रहा हूं!
ब्रेट: हाँ!
जूल्स: वर्णन मार्सेलस वालेस की तरह लग रहा है!
ब्रेट: क्या?
क्या फिर से कहो. कहते हैं 'क्या' फिर, मैं आप की हिम्मत कैसे हुई, मैं डबल तुम कमीने हिम्मत, क्या एक अधिक धत् तेरे की समय कहते हैं!





Scene 2 - 

हनी बनी: मैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ, कद्दू [डिनर लूटने के बारे में].
कद्दू: मैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ, हनी बनी.
कद्दू: [एक बंदूक के साथ स्थायी] ठीक है, सब लोग शांत हो, यह एक डकैती है!
हनी बनी: आप में से कोई चुभन कदम कमबख्त, और मैं फिर हर motherfucking पिछले एक पर अमल करेंगे!



Scene 3 - 
जूल्स: मैं आपको लगता है कि पैसे नहीं दे रहा हूँ. मैं आप से कुछ खरीद रहा हूँ. जानना चाहता हूँ कि मैं क्या कर रहा हूँ buyin रिंगो?
कद्दू: क्या?
जूल्स: आपकी जीवन. मैं दूँगा आपको लगता है कि पैसा तो मैं अपने गधे को मारने की जरूरत नहीं है. तुम बाइबिल पढ़ा है?
कद्दू: नियमित रूप से नहीं.



जूल्स: एक मार्ग है मैं याद कर ली है. ईजेकील 25:17. "धर्मी आदमी का रास्ता सभी पक्षों परस्वार्थी की विषमताओं और दुष्टों के अत्याचार से आक्रांत है धन्य वह है, जो दान और अच्छा होगा की नाम में, अंधेरे की घाटी के माध्यम से कमजोर चरवाहों के लिए, वह वास्तव में अपने भाई की कीपर और बच्चों को खो दिया खोजक है और मैं तुझ पर महान प्रतिशोध और उग्रक्रोध जो जहर और मेरे भाई को नष्ट करने का प्रयास के साथ नीचे हड़ताल करेंगे. और तुम मैंयहोवा हूँ पता है जब मैं पर मेरी प्रतिशोध करना होगा आप ". अब ... साल के लिए है कि गंदगी मैं कह गया. और अगर आप कभी यह सुना है, कि अपने गधे का मतलब है. तुम मर अभी होगी. मैं कभी नहीं दिया ज्यादा क्या मतलब सोचा. मैं तो बस सोचा कि यह एक धीर बात थीएक कमीने कहने से पहले मैं अपने पिछवाड़े में एक टोपी popped है. लेकिन मैं कुछ गंदगीइस सुबह 'ने मुझे दो बार लगता है देखा. देखो, अब मैं सोच रहा हूँ: शायद यह मतलब है कि तुमबुरे आदमी हो. और मैं धर्मी आदमी हूँ. और श्री यहाँ 9mm ... वह अंधेरे की घाटी में मेरा धर्मीगधे की रक्षा चरवाहा है. या यह मतलब तुम धर्मी आदमी हो और मैं चरवाहा हूँ सकता है औरयह दुनिया है कि बुराई और स्वार्थी है. और मुझे लगता है कि करना चाहते हैं. लेकिन है कि गंदगी सच नहीं है. सच तो यह है कि आप कमजोर हैं. और मैं दुष्टों के अत्याचार कर रहा हूँ.लेकिन मैं कोशिश कर रहा हूँ, रिंगो. मैं कोशिश कर रहा हूँ असली मुश्किल चरवाहा हो.




तो तुम लोग बाहर जाना वहाँ है, अपने पेय पीते हैं, कहते हैं कर रहे हैं "शुभ रात्रि, मैं एक बहुत ही सुंदर शाम लिया है," घर झटका, जाना बंद. और कहा कि तुम सब करने वाले हैं.

4 Great Rajinikanth Fight Scenes from Hindi Films

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Way before he became an internet sensation and was introduced to to a new legion of Hindi film fans as a Desi version of Chuck Norris (although Rajinikanth can any day beat Chuck Norris with the pinky of his left hand), the Thalaivar had already invented Being Awesome. Today he is the Alpha and the Omega of Indian films, when his films get released there is a mass frenzy which no filmstar in the world can claim to. And during the 80s (which was a strange strange decade for movies around the world) he provided some respite from awful films by gracing a lot of Hindi films with his presence.

When Rajini Acts in a Movie, Amitabh Bachchan is relegated to the right corner of the Poster

It was a time when Special effects were not exactly what you would call top-notch. However, Rajinikanth, proving time and again that what he does is not a result of any Special effects, translated his action scenes from down south excellently in to Hindi film fare (and he didn't miss a beat while he lit up a cigarette with a gun as he punched/kicked three goons at once). It was Bollywood's loss that Thalaivar decided in the nineties that he would concentrate on regional films, otherwise his awesomeness would have spilled over the entire film industry, causing most of the hindi films in the past two decades to be much better than they are.


This would have been a Real photograph

4. Andha Kanoon




The good person who uploaded this video named it 'Rajinikanth Beats Up Bad Guys Awesome Scene', and I can't help but agree with every word of the title. There are some bad guys who are trying to do some vasooli of the bad kind from a young and healthy Reena Roy. Enter Rajinikanth. The Thalaivar can not let shit like that fly in front of his eyes. He promptly surrounds the four bad guys (yes, you read that right) and punches two of them while lighting up a cigarette

'Never waste time, I say!'
And the cigarette dangles from his mouth better than Humphrey Bogart could have ever imagined. He rains kicks and punches, and when he decides to take a deep contented drag, he obviously needs a good foothold, after all it's the middle of a fist fight.

'Stand Still, I say!'

Most of this fight scene does not involve any show of Superhuman strength. It's typical masala fair with the added goodness of Rajinikanth in it. He elevates this scene to a different level

He also makes sure not even the villains go home thirsty
Number of Punches The Bad Guys were able to land on Rajini = 1
Number of Bad Guys decimated under 120 seconds = 4

Rajinikanth also manages to kill Three goondas by the name of Amar, Akbar and Anthony while wearing a Jacket that would later inspire none other than Arnie, who would model his look in Terminator (which released an year later) to pay tribute to the Poster above.

3. Geraftaar


Amitabh Bachchan had an extended cameo in Andha Kanoon, so Rajinikanth returned the favour by having a special guest appearance in Geraftaar. And when the Thalaivar returns a favour, He does it with a mega dose of style.


Rajinikanth literally jumps in to the scene to stop three Badmashes from Running away.


Number of Legs = 2
Number of bad guys biting dust = 3

Just to show a small glimpse of how Awesome he is, he throws a cigarette in the air, fires a bullet at it, catches it back and smokes it, nonchalantly.

Making the Baddies wish they had not escaped Karan in the first place
However, the most famous scene is the one in which Rajinikanth proves that he is the ultimate level of Coolness walking in a human form. It is sadly a scene in which he dies in the end, but he makes sure the villains know that they have been in a fight before he ends


The scene starts with Rajini disarming the bad guys and taunting them by giving them guns and kicking the weapons back to his hands.

Yes, he Does have Eyes at the Back of His Head

It takes more than two 'main villains' to overpower Rajinikanth, and even they can't do it without the help of a Huge crane and some cheating.

Sharat Saxena knows that Rajini cannot be beaten in a Hand to Hand combat situation


When other 'Heroes' die, they prelude their Death with a long rant, an apology to God, some spiritual epiphany, a word of wisdom for those who survive. But Rajinikanth doesn't go for that kind of shit. The top priority in his mind is to make sure the villains know that he does not give a fuck, so he continues smoking as if nothing of great import is happening to him.

'What do you mean Death is approaching? I haven't finished my cigarette yet!'
He continued kicking ass till the very end (poor Sharat Saxena) when the villains tie him up to his jeep and set fire to the vehicle, knowing that if they used any other form of murder, Rajinikanth would pretty much get up and continue hunting for them.


2. Bhagwan Dada


Even Hrithik Roshan knew that if he had to learn the ropes to being an action star in Future Perfect, he would have to undergo the tutelage of Rajinikanth. And so Papa Roshan Produced a film which was all about Rajini, and had a couple of minutes of young Hrithik Roshan in it, who dies (etc) and is avenged by Thalaivar who is awesomely named 'Bhagwan Dada'

Papa Roshan was one of the most pathetic actors this country has ever had the misfortune of having. See, how in a movie bankrolled by him, a dumb pick-pocket pwns him and leaves him crying for mercy (and justice) etc. It's only thanks to Rajinikanth that he is able to retrieve his Rs 80 and 12 paise, but not before Rajini lays to waste three errant fools (whom Mr T would have surely Pitied) who did not know who they were messing with.


Although the idiot at Eros' youtube channel who was at the helm of affairs while this clip was being uploaded did not know that he could be facing the Thalaivar's wrath for keeping such an irreverent name of this video, he has perhaps remained unscathed because of Rajini's generosity. However, three idiots were not so lucky.

Idiot no. 1, getting a small dose of Knowing His Role and Shutting his Mouth

Fools often keep company with fools, hence, this idiot is aided by two more, and it takes only one punch from Rajini to hit them both

Rajini doesn't waste punches, he only wastes bad guys

Then of course the prophesy fulfilling Head kicks take place and the fight takes place in a typical Masala fashion, until THIS happens, and Rajini switches Awesome on


Rajini invents a Fight move that no WWE wrestler of the past-present-future can think of imitating
My only regret is that Papa Roshan doesn't gets creamed as Collateral damage.

PS - There's another Longer fight scene which is more of a one-on-one combat between Rajini and Danny (and for some inexplicable reason it's called Bhagwan Dada vs Kancha Cheena whereas his name in the movie is Shambhu)



1. Aatank Hi Aatank


True Rajini fans would start tracing my IP and looking for ways to come and kill me because of my inclusion of a scene from a movie whose mere mention would bring about a bout of Memory loss in Aamir Khan stronger than anything the hero of 'Ghajini' faced. This film falls under the category of 'So Bad that it's...let's face it, So Bad!' Yet, it also matches Rajinikanth with one of the most memorable violent characters ever to be projected on Silver screen

Specifically - This Guy
So who does it better? James Caan or Rajinikanth? The comparison making you dizzy with thoughts of  'Holy fookin shit!'? This video clip shall help you decide


The scene (like the entire movie) is an unapologetic lift from The Godfather, but it brings out a side of the Thalaivar's acting persona that you come across rarely. Even when he sends goondas flying through the air, he does it with Style, Aplomb, more Style and mostly, a smile. But not in this case, here he beats (does not battle, but beats) one guy and does it with more aggression than you would have ever seen.

The look on Dalip Tahil's face 'Oh Shit! I just crapped my pants!'

Dalip Tahil is sent flying across a couple of tables/chairs, but then that is just Rajini letting him have it easy for the first few moments. Later he is dragged across stairs




Gets a well placed Kick to The Head


And then is hit by the full force of Rajini on his mid-section as a permanent warning telling him that he should know who he is messing with


The violence is all fine, you say, and then you go on to ask 'Why this scene? What's so freaking important about this scene?'

Well, think of it as Rajinikanth paying Homage to the Godfather. Now, watch it again.



Weird Lessons Learnt From Hindi Films

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Amoeba,Years of evolution, Darwin, Apes and then finally humans. It's been a long and hard journey but instead of savouring it's results there are people hard at work to reverse the process.The movie industry called bollywood is a frontrunner in this race. A proponent of mass scale idiocy it churns out non-brainers and mind numbingly stupid movies (with or without the help of the Bhatt camp) at a very constant rate.  Here's a look at movies which are born when money (excess of it) , the aforesaid stupidity and drugs sleep together and what they teach us about the society.

4. The Golmaal Series


'Golmaal hai bhai sab Golmaal hai', lakshman prasad, Ram prasad, such sweet memories about a comedy on people with and without moustaches, or about the movie Hera Pheri (Sunil shetty and his only funny dialogue:Babu bhaiya gaana sunai diya?)


And  then, in 2006, shit happened

Sooooo Expressive WOW!!!
The worst part is that, though this movie was okayish, it spawned two quasi-sequels (No adding 1,2,3 to the title does not make a good sequel or even a sequel for that matter) and sullied the name of a good comedy film forever.

The Director should have had the decency to apologize to Utpal Dutt sa'ab
Now, bad comedy has been the staple diet for the bollywood audience who brushes aside the humourless jokes and laugh at his own misfortune. But what is bad, really really bad about this overrated series of films is the things that they use as comic devices.


 Art of being vulgar without speaking

Tushar Kapoor is a man who cannot speak, but can swear. Maa, behen, chacha, cactus nothing is safe, nothing escapes this marvel of nature ( the dumb swearer). Leave aside the fact that this movie is intolerably ignorant of the fact that any differently abled person should not be made fun of, or would not like being made fun of, it seems obvious that Mr Rohit Shetty has never met someone with this disability in his life ever.

'Ae On Ae On' Seriously? 'Its in the script!' 'We have a script!?!'
Disabled People are meant to be made fun off

But then, the director does not stop at one speech impediments, in the third movie he ridicules Stammering to such an extent that it provoked an NGO to launch a complaint against it.
At the end of the first movie the heroin marries Tushar Kapoor's character because he cannot speak so he will only listen, at the end of the second movie, Tushar Kapoor marries a girl who cannot hear, so this is an awesome pair! Ha ha ha ha ha, Oh please stop Mr Rohit Shetty, my stomach hurts from the laughter.



3. Kya Yahi Pyaar Hai


Sniffing loudly can be substituted for acting (True for any Amisha Patel movie)


There's a hindi saying, which somehow seems to be 'custom made' for the leading pair of this movie,' Ram milayi jodi,ek andha ek kodi'. A lot cannot be expected from a movie that stars Amisha Patel and Aftab Shivdesani. In fact, Nothing can be expected from such a film, yet, (and this is what often shakes my faith in humanity) there were people willing to put in their money in this endeavor. May be India really is shining, and people can afford to burn money.

This is the CD cover for the film, proving that someone expects this CD to sell
You should support your brother at all costs even if he repeatedly acts as one of the biggest dumbfucks in the world


In the film (and I suspect in real life) Aftab Shivdesani is a complete idiot. He is a die hard metal fan (I presume) and inspired by Ozzy spends better parts of his day(and night) dreaming.In fact, much of the film takes place in his own mind where he is wooing the girl of his choice, and not in the David Fincher variety of events taking place in his mind.

He has an elder brother played by Jackie Shroff sans his beedu look and attitude.

I used to be awesome once! I have papers to prove it!
The hero (in the broad sense of the word) is a college student who spoils four years of his life loving/lusting after a girl who doesnt even know that he exists. Although this can be the story of, 3 out of 4, engineering students who spoil their lives for dem girls but not to the extent of Jack-assery that Shivdesani exerts in proving that he can stoop to.

The girl's father is played by Ashish Vidyarthi, who although acts as kind of an asshole in the film who isnt good to his wife and daughter, he does the sensible thing when he finds out about the loser who is stalking his daughter and beats him up and locks him.

Actually a movie with this scene cannot be all that bad

Jackie Shroff pleads with people and gets his idiot brother released, and asks him to stop his foolishness. But as we know 'pyaar ke aage duniya koi cheez nahi', and aftab continues with his endeavours.


Feminism is overrated( and so are independence, career etc.)


On the other hand the heroine slogs the four years for a gold medal; silly girl. It is only towards the end that her enlightened friend shares her knowledge with her. It is only then that Amisha realizes 'gold medal jaise pati ke saamne gold medal ki koi value nahi' ( Take that feminism).



2. Ek Deewana Tha (and Several other such films)


A film commentator (as his job would have him do) commented once that the pursuit of the girl as shown in countless hindi films borders on sexual harassment. It usually involves stalking the girl and her friends, trying to stop her vehicle every now and then and singing suggestive songs. Case in point :


                                                               Innocent girls!!!

 In the recent forgettable film (which I am told is the remake of a very famous Tamil movie) the hero does exactly the same.


Salwar Kurta = Conservative, western dresses = modern, Bikini = Your place or mine?

The herione is an ORTHODOX  Malyali christian family which,more or less, sums up the story of the movie.

See, Conservative!!
                                                             


 Two step agenda to 'pataoing' a girl: Stalk and force


 As the movie goes, he follows her around first in the city that she lives in, and then when it is not enough he stalks her all the way to Kerela where she is on a holiday. She repeatedly tells him that she has no feelings whatsoever for him, this on his way back (for some reason the girl too is travelling with him) on the train he applies the Ickenham Method and kisses her. The girl , instead of filing a F.I.R or shouting for help (which might be the logical/natural reaction) succumbs to his love.

It's okay to treat the girl like dirt once she falls for you
And later, at a crucial juncture in the movie, when the girl desperately needs to run away from her home, she calls the hero up who mentions something on the lines of 'I'm busy bitch' and hangs up on her.

The last and the strongest lesson this movie has in store for aspiring directors (And this lesson is used in many films).
A R Rahman is your top billed star if the lead pair are lacklusture

1. Akshay kumar
 Well before he lost his head (and went to China) and way before he found Sajid,there was a time when Akshay kumar did awesome action flicks, which were followed by some awesome comedy movies. And then he did Haan maine bhi pyaar kiya, Jaani dushman:Ek anokhi kahaani,Hatya, Jumbo, Blue,hey babby  etc. etc and the unforgettable Chandni chowk to China.I guess, Its never a good idea to start as a butt kicker to later shift to getting butt kicked.
Now, Akshay has done a plethora of movies fit to make this list. So, I'll be focussing only on the two most important (atleast for me) questions life poses in front of me and how akshay in their simple earthy wisdom answer them.


I'll try to be awesome again!

Q.How to be happy and successful in life?


The movie: Mr. and Mrs. Khiladi.
Akshay is an educated couch potato who in the safe company of his astrologer mama believes that he's destined for a life full of riches.The mama is played by a pudgy Satish kaushik, who does what he is best at; making a fool of himself. The heroes daily routine is guided by the outrageously stupid rules and deadlines set by the aforesaid mama. On the other hand is the spoil and overtly 'bubbly' Heroine played by Juhi chawla. She is cute (I just wanted to say that). She falls for Akshay because .....  Kader khan is a millionare who wears hand-me-down clothes.

Seriously! Millionaire?

As any responsible Indian father should, Kader khan doesn't approve of Akshay ( though I doubt any father around the globe would approve of such a fuck up). So the latter spends the rest of the movie discovering the meaning of hard work and earn 1 lakh rupees. His motivation being the denied 'Suhaagraat' with her dearest wife (Oh world, why doth thou hate love!). But throughout the movie Akshay never does anything that resembles, or tries to resemble (hard) work. Instead he gets the money in an (most probably) illegal fight. Daddy dearest succumbs to the pure and strong love and the couple lives happily ever after. 

Ans.Find a rich spoilt brat ready to marry you (for no apparent reason other than that you are dumb as shit and can occasionally fight a Sumo )

Q. What is the average I.Q of a girl?


As the film has no plot to speak of, I wouldn't bore you with one.It's just Akshay kumar fooling the rest of the cast. The movie stars John abraham as well who is funny at occasions but its mostly unintentional and so we wouldn't blame him at all. At the recieving end of Akshay's antics are three air hostesses .They too are cute (saala mere 5 km ke radius ke baahar har ladki cute hoti hai kya ?!)

Ye is movie mein kyun hai! Hatao ise!


So, in the movie Akshay is dating these three chicks at one time. It goes smoothly till we are 30 minutes away from the climax when, like any other priyadarshan movie, all hell breaks loose. There are missed/rescheduled flights, mix ups and what not, and the three girls end up in the same flat. It is at this opportune moment that they take it upon themselves to prove to the world their might. Akshay and John ( I want to make meaningful movies) Abraham tell series of outrageous lies to the three girls, who wnd up believing all of them. Even when John professes love to one of them she agrees to leave akshay and go with him.

Ladies purse?! Ok, if you say so, it should be the latest trend
Ohh, and  like the director I too almost forgot. The leading lady of the movie is one out of Rimi/Raima/Riya sen ( It's too confusing for my little mind to figure out the sen who worked in the movie). She rules the roost in dumbness quotient as Akshay's fiancee who he never calls, never meets, always ignore and always lies to, but who in the end believing one dialogue of the aforesaid triple timing liar agrees to marry him. so, this leads us to the answer of our question.


Ans (By a girl in Akshay's movie): What is I.Q?